A start of just a little stuffs that you may think it's not important. I may have been leading it on until the next big thing in my life. I have hated the way I dealt with life experiences. Last night, I've watched a video on my Facebook timeline. This person spoke for 18 minutes about how we feel and react to our day is based on the people surround you. It's sounded like a normal thing to hear. A common thing. But if you could think the situation in your whole life, it's kindda true.
I used to let people come by and be gone which ever and when ever they wanted too. I have never forced them to stay or to leave. And maybe that's why I've always felt the emptiness in my heart. They often used me as a comfort zone and then just forget about me when they are happy. At the end of the day, it's me who felt the sorrow of loneliness of why people always do that to me. If I'm a bad friend, why do those people searched for me when they are in trouble? If I'm such a bad friend, why do they came to me and ask for my opinion? Why do I stay and why do I let them stay in my life? Is it because I'm desperate for being wanted? Or I just can't stand to be alone?
In my new chapter of my life, I've met some awesome friends that accept me for me. I feel that they know all my bads and goods. They wrote something nice about me and my attitude. They say I'm a good friend. I'll always find them comfort to be okay. I provide them a choice to be okay. I've changed them from shy-ness to be outspoken. It's good to know the little things that I do, that hurts me the most, and they noticed it in a good way.
He spoked about why do i need these type of people worths my time, my wasted time, memories in my life. Everyday we have a choice. It is a big definition for it. We have a choice to go or not to go. What kind of experiences we want to have on that day. Every morning who texted you to go anywhere? They invited you, doesn't mean that you have to go. You have that power to choose which one, and when you're getting all of those invitation, you are not obligated to be there if you know what kind of experience to be with them. So what if they're family? So what if they're childhood friend? They don't even like you and you know it. All the time you spent with them before, they have told you indirectly or directly at you. They have showed you all kinds of signals anything that they can possily think of to make sure you know they dispise you. But you just shut your eyes, your ears, your mind. You'll say "Oh, I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." And that's what you're doing it wrong.
Your whole life, you have been taught of this one little but deep message to it sentence. "Some people are in your life for a reason, and some just for a season." You have any names in your mind right now? To think of someone who already expired their date in your life? Just like when you've bumped into your ex, and you felt that cringing feeling about "Why do I like him/her/them in the first place?" That "yucks" feeling is a sign that you are moving on, on the next chapter in your lifetime. You are old enough, mature enough to know what is bad and good in your life.
I'm sorry if I got carried away by this issues. But this topic sure does get my attention. This ain't for everyone.
"In a land of the blind, the one-eyed man is the king" - Tyrese Gibson
p/s : It's good to be writing again.
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